1. Put the iPod on shuffle.
2. Use it to answer the question.
3. Hit “next."
4. Don't cheat.
1. How am I feeling today? "Through the Ice and Snow" Olympus Mons (wow, I didn't think it was THAT cold)
2. How far will I get in life? "Sound Check" Gorillaz (not very, apparently)
3. What is my best friend’s theme song? "All Along the Watchtower" Bear McCreary (I wonder what the "here" there must be some kind of way out of refers to...)
4. What was high school like? "No Remorse" Metallica (except for that fucking shirt...)
WHERE IS QUESTION #5? "Our Lips Are Sealed" Go Gos (damn I really wanted to know)
6. What is in store for me this weekend? "Trouble" Indigo Girls (shit, and I was hoping to keep my nose clean, and maybe do some laundry)
7. What is the best thing about me? "Trail of Broken Hearts" Dragonforce (if this is the BEST thing....)
8. What song is about my parents? Do Me (Bell Biv DeVoe cover)" Richard Cheese (WELL FUCK YOU! AND FUCK THIS CAT! AND FUCK THIS DOOR!)
9. How is my life going? "Napoleon Dynamite" Mos Def (I caught you a delicious bass)
10. What song will they play at my funeral? "What's the Frequency Kenneth" REM (Maybe I'll implant a microtransmitter in myself, and I'll write the frequency in my will or something, so whoever knows the answer can tune into the secret joke message and laugh at it while everyone else has to cry that I'm dead.)
11. How does the world see me? "Radiant Eclipse" Avenged Sevenfold (I'm a blazing sun, but you can't see me because the fucking moon is in the way)
12. What do my friends think of me? "Creator Failure" Iced Earth (knowing most of my friends, more like "evolutionary throwback" am I right?)
13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking? "DMV" Primus (having seen the mutants who populate that place, apparently not)
14. How can I make myself happy? "People are Strange" The Doors (I'm happiest when alone, estranged, outcast, and dejected! FUCKING AWESOME!)
15. What should I do with my life? "Metal Fatigue (Wrecked Ship Theme)" Children of the Monkey God (I should go find an abandoned space pirate ship, kill the giant ghost head that's haunting it, and turn it on, capturing its power for myself)
16. What is some good advice? "Dracula" Gorillaz (when in doubt, feast on the blood of virgins)
17. Will I get married? "Heart of the Serpent" Kiuas (how should I interpret this? I'm either too cold and horrible to be with, or I will give my life over to a hate-filled harpy)
18. Where will I go in life? "Gone" Switchfoot (aren't we all?)
19. Will I have kids? "Operation Ground and Pound" Dragonforce (this is an interesting turn of events)
20. What is my current theme song? "Black Market" Bear McCreary (I prefer the term "legitimate businessman")